Defeating Self-Doubts
If you are struggling with Self Doubts, this blog post is for you! I've listed practical tips to help you defeat self doubts.
PSYCHOLOGY
Maya
6/18/20266 min read
Overcoming Self-Doubts
Am I skilled enough to complete this task? Is this the right decision for me? At some point, we have all questioned our circumstances, our capabilities, our life decisions, and our self-worth. These questions can lead one to experience doubt. According to research, doubt is a state of uncertainty that ultimately enhances our understanding of knowledge and reality. Individuals in a state of uncertainty may find themselves questioning:
Worth in Interpersonal Relationships
Worth in the Workplace
One’s Competencies
Their Future
Past Decisions
What Causes Self-Doubt?
Many factors contribute to the development of self-doubt. Let’s take a look at caregivers and important figures in your childhood. If an individual has experienced caregivers who did not allow them to make mistakes, provided limited autonomy, negatively reacted to mistakes, or heavily criticized them, this can lead to the development of self-doubt. Secondly, one can experience self-doubt when high, unrealistic expectations are created internally or externally. Third, the “comparison game “, where you find yourself comparing your attributes, qualities, and strengths to those around you.
The Effects of Self-Doubts
When an individual consistently experiences self doubt, there are various areas of life that becomes affected such as one's physical health, social relationsihps, and your occupations. Self doubts can lead to distressing symptoms such as excessive worry, anxiety, low self-esteem, stress, and depression.
Ways to Defeat Self-Doubt
Doubt can greatly affect your self-esteem and self-confidence. However, when doubts are managed effectively, they can lead to personal growth. Here are some ways to combat self-doubt
Growth Mindset: Let's break down the difference between Fixed Mindset and Growth Mindset. Individuals with a fixed mindset believe they cannot enhance their abilities or intelligence. These individuals believe that the abilities or intelligence they have is “fixed”. These individuals tend to think in absolutes, such as “I am not smart” or “I am a failure, tending to believe there is no room for improvement or that they are incapable of improving. Thus, this mindset will increase avoidance of new challenges, increase negative self-talk, may lead to increased comparison with peers, may lead to ignoring or struggling with constructive criticism, may lead to little to no effort, and may lead to a lack of resilience. On the Other hand, those with a Growth Mindset believe that with consistency and effort, one can work to develop skills and intelligence. When a Growth mindset is developed, the focus shifts from the outcome of what you are facing (Failure or Success) to the time and effort you dedicated to the challenge that ultimately led to that outcome. For example, an individual with a Fixed mindset who loses their job may become upset about their performance and even engage in negative self-talk. This individual believes that their circumstances will not improve. However, an individual with a Growth Mindset will see the job loss as a learning opportunity, reflecting on how they contributed to the company and assessing what they want in future job opportunities. This individual sees the positives in the situation and continues to strive for more opportunities. If, by reading the differences between a fixed and growth mindset, you find yourself identifying more with the fixed mindset, know that it is possible to work towards a growth mindset. See, our brains are malleable; they can change in response to new experiences and new information. Thus, learning a new skill, such as shifting your mindset, stimulates the firing of neurons and leads to the formation of new neural pathways. The more you consistently engage in new experiences and take on new challenges with a growth mindset, the more it becomes a habit when faced with adversity, leading to personal growth.
Improve Decision-Making Skills: If you find yourself struggling to make decisions due to having self-doubt. Follow these tips to decrease overthinking and enhance your decision-making skills.
Strive for “Good Enough”: There is no such thing as a “perfect” decision, because you are always going to find a flaw in any decision you make. Thus, create a mindset of choosing a decision that is “good enough” for you.
Trust Your Opinion: We may feel less pressure when someone makes the decision for us. Avoid being swayed by another’s opinion. When we value the voice of another over our own, we tend to minimize our own. Take the opportunity to make decisions to increase trust and confidence within.
Weigh Your Options: Weigh the pros and cons of a big decision. When you take the time to identify the consequences of your decisions, you can go through a process of elimination, which will help you make a decision that is most beneficial for you.
Practice making quick, unimportant decisions: They can be as simple as what you want to eat for dinner. Making a habit of deciding on small, unimportant decisions to build experience in making decisions with no hesitation. It will also show you that you have the tolerance to handle the consequences of a decision that did not yield the results you expected or hoped for. These learning opportunities can help build self-confidence, self-esteem, and resilience.
Focus on your values: Take time to identify what you truly value. It is important to recognize that our values play a huge role in what fuels our actions and responses. Thus, it is important to ensure your decisions align with those values. As a result, you are less likely to doubt your decisions or have indecisiveness.
Use your decision as a learning opportunity: Ask yourself, What lesson was learned, and what can you gain from this decision to help you continue to move forward? What can you implement now to ensure that the same mistakes won't happen again?
Ways to Develop a Growth Mindset
Developing a Growth mindset is a slow process that requires consistency. Start this process with a small step; choose one of these strategies to start off. Once you feel confident with one strategy, incorporate another. Consistency is the key!
The Power of Yet: “I can’t do this… YET”, “I’m not good at this …YET”. Putting “Yet” behind is a great reframing tool for managing setbacks. It allows us to break through barriers we’ve set for ourselves due to what we feel we are limited in and increases our hope that our current state, abilities, and skills are only temporary. Using “Yet” reduces the Fight-or-Flight Response (e.g., Fear, defensiveness) and promotes a stress response known as a challenge response, which increases positive emotions (e.g, Excitement, confidence) and motivation and energy to tackle challenges. It gives a bit of hope and encourages you to continue striving for improvement.
Self-Compassion: When faced with failures and mistakes, it's easy to dwell on what you didn’t do and what you should have done. It is important to give yourself some grace. Recognize that you are human and mistakes happen. Practical steps to take: Take a moment to identify how you would show kindness and care to a friend going through the same situation. Identify how you can show up for that friend. Identify actionable steps you can take to bring that friend comfort and care. Now apply those actionable steps for yourself.
Reframe Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk is your inner voice that criticizes and delivers harsh judgments about your worth and abilities. There are no benefits to Negative Self-Talk. Research shows that negative self-talk lowers your self-confidence, increases your stress, and triggers feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy. Practical Steps to take: Write down your automatic negative thoughts (It’s easier to challenge negative thoughts when you can see the thoughts on paper!) Assess the negative thoughts. 1. Question whether these thoughts are factual. Ex: “I always make mistakes.” Ask yourself, is it true? Or is this an instance in which you just made a mistake? 2. List evidence to dispute these thoughts, such as stating “I don’t always make mistakes at work; I was able to complete my tasks efficiently yesterday.” It is crucial to reframe our thoughts because our thoughts influence how we feel (Our Emotions) and how we respond to situations (Behaviors). If we want to respond more positively to failures or mistakes, we must identify realistic and/or positive thoughts.
Gratitude Journal: Gratitude is a practice that trains your brain to focus on the positives in your life. Consistently engaging in writing down things you are grateful for at least twice a week shows a decrease in depressive and anxiety symptoms.
Embracing Constructive Criticism: Viewing constructive criticism as an additional way to enhance your personal growth will foster a growth mindset. Being criticized can definitely send you into defensive mode; accepting the criticism with a grain of salt rather than a hit to your self-worth will allow you to peel back the layers and assess whether this change can help you improve your skills or effectiveness.
Celebrate your Progress: We can get tunnel vision when we only focus on the finish line. We may notice an increase in frustration because it feels like it's taking too long to see the change we are hoping for. Thus, taking a moment to acknowledge and celebrate your progress along the way helps you track it and increase your motivation and confidence to keep pushing forward.
Build Resilience: Resilience is your ability to “Bounce back” after facing adversity. It is important to first acknowledge your shortcomings, identify a takeaway, and lastly identify one small change that can help you move forward.
Question to Ponder until next time:
How do you overcome moments of self -doubt?
Disclaimer: The information provided on this website, including all thoughts, strategies, and faith-based perspectives, is for educational and inspirational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, licensed therapist, or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, thoughts of self-harm, or a medical emergency, please call your local emergency services (like 911 or 988 in the US) or go to the nearest emergency room immediately.
Sources
https://www.verywellmind.com/negative-self-talk-and-how-it-affects-us-4161304
https://selfhealings.com/15-effective-ways-to-build-a-growth-mindset/
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